Blackmail
by SilverMoonGrimm
Summary: "Don't worry; I'm not the Sleazy Steed. If I was, I would have definitely chosen a better name." "So far all we have is that name. I suppose you aren't about to tell me where you got this stuff?" "And ruin the surprise? Never." Oneshot!


**TWO YEARS ON FF . NET!**

**In honor of this joyous occasion, I dug out an old story of mine. Don't worry- I did edit it so you all wouldn't need to suffer through my twelve-year-old self's writing.**

**Enjoy, review, and Happy Holidays!**

XXXXXXXX

**Blackmail**

"I'll give you a Mulch 7 for two Trouble 3's." Holly told Artemis.

"How about a Foaly 2 instead?"

Holly's eyes widened as she glanced across the floor of the Fowl Manor's guest bedroom. The hardwood was strewn with black cases of DX's, a sort of fairy version of CD's. Each case had a full color headshot of a fairy or human on the cover, most of them having some form of connection with the LEP, and a white number underneath, ranging from one to eleven. They were all completed by a type of holographic seal over the opening.

"You have a _Foaly_?"

"Several, actually."

"Deal!" The two quickly snatched away the other's cases.

"I don't suppose you have anything for Dr. Argon, would you?"

"Hard times at the hospital?"

Artemis sighed. "I wish. He's planning to publish a book, and I would really appreciate it if it never arrived at the publishing house."

"You know, I could arrest you for this." Holly scowled.

"And how would that look? An LEP officer exchanging blackmail disks with an uneasy ally of the People?"

Her scowl deepened. "You know I'm only doing this to track it back to the source like Trouble ordered me to!"

"Half the LEP have been using these."

"How do you-"

"Don't worry; I'm not the Sleazy Steed. If I was, I would have definitely chosen a better name."

"So far all we have is that name. I suppose you aren't about to tell me where you got this stuff?"

"And ruin the surprise? Never. Where did you get yours?" Artemis moved a couple cases out of the way to adjust his position a little.

"Confiscated loot. Speaking of which . . ." Holly snatched away two of Artemis's DX's. "I'll be taking these."

Artemis reached to her side of the room and grabbed a disk with a picture of the annoying gnome he had asked for previously. "Thank you."

"Theif!"

"I know."

"I'll arrest you."

"Go ahead." Artemis held his hand out in front of him and winked in an effective attempt at getting on Holly's nerves.

"What's going on in here?" Both human and fairy jumped.

"Mother! I thought you were in France." Holly briefly considered shielding before shooting that idea down. She wasn't doing anything wrong, really.

"I could say the same."

"I just forgot to grab the Lord of the Rings trilogy on the way out and Holly apparently has never seen it, so we popped in the first couple disks." He told her, playing the innocent little boy part surprisingly well. Angeline Fowl, who was rather well-dressed for a day on the beach, rolled her eyes.

"You hate the Lord of the Rings."

"The twins love it."

"Arty, I thought we were going legal, not resorting to blackmail!"

"I'm on a police investigation, Mother! We're looking for clues as to who is organizing the circulation of blackmail DX's."

Angeline, used to dealing with Artemis, clearly didn't believe him. "And what have you discovered. Mr Detective?"

Artemis picked up a case and ad libbed a somewhat believable story.

"Well, see these seals?" The seals in question were holographic and projected by a mechanism inside to the case, designed to be broken whenever the container was opened. Two cursive letter S's were inscribed in the center of a pot of gold, a symbol of ridicule of the LEP.

"Yes, I see them,"

"They are holographically projected by a very small device, showing that this criminal is highly intelligent, or working with someone who is.

"Sleazy Stead- that's what the dealer refers to himself by- has access to footage from all over Haven, implying a video black market or city-wide means of acquiring footage from cameras.

"The fact that the disks are labelled with a number, rating its embarrassing-ness signifies a need for order and organization.

"Considering the majority of these are involving police or consultants, he also seems to have inside information on where LEP officers are at any potentially embarrassing situations, possibly a mole in the force.

"Finally, his nickname, Sleazy Stead, hints at his species and leaves me with only one suspect left.

"And this suspect is . . ."

"Foaly." His mother paused for a moment, then smiled.

"Nice work. I'll let you off the hook this time because of that pretty story, but don't let me catch you again."  
>Artemis nodded solemnly.<p>

Angeline paused, then rephrased her request. "I mean, I don't want you to do this again."

Artemis frowned, then nodded.

His mother walked out of the room, satisfied, before poking her head back in.

"No more blackmail."

Artemis nodded.

She frowned. "Why do I get the feeling you aren't going to listen?"

He shrugged. "Possibly due to the fact the ringmaster of Ireland's largest black market system is standing in the conference room. I don't think father would appreciate you making deals behind his back, especially after all his hard work to go straight.

Angeline paused to consider. She didn't bother asking how her son knew this.

"I won't tell if you don't."

"Deal." They quickly shook hands and parted ways.

XXXXXXXX

A little while later, after seventeen more dealings, a few threatened blackmailing, and a full blown argument later, Holly began to pack up.

"Artemis?"

"Hmmm?"

"I know you were just making up that stuff up earlier, but-"

"Is Foaly actually the dealer?"

It sounds ridiculous out loud, Holly thought.

"No, he's not."

Holly let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding and turned to the west-facing window.

"Caballine is."

For a second, Holly just stood there, frozen, trying to figure out if he was messing with her or not. She forced a laugh.

"Ha, ha. Very funny."

XXXXXXXX

Over a hundred miles beneath their feet, Caballine the centaur smiled as she finished up her day. A burly gnome, her last customer, walked away from her in the dark alleyway. She smiled.

Blackmail. Now, why didn't she think of this before?


End file.
